Sometimes, lets keep it real, we just don’t like to hear advice from anyone when we are going through personal things within our life. Especially if it has to do with our relationship. We think that people are being intrusive at times, or we may not value their opinion to begin with, so we think they know nothing about the subject matter. At least enough to actually help. I say that to say this. I will speak from experience and give suggestions solely on my own perspective in the hopes to help at least on person out there. That is my only mission. If it helps more than one person i will be elated. Overjoyed 😌
What we expect to see in 2021
Well, lets be completely transparent here guys, we are in a new year jam packed with craziness and lots of uncertainty to begin with. The last thing we need is to be guessing where we stand in some ones life. Where we stand should be laid out clearly and without any gaps in communication. Basically if you want something serious say it! Don’t let anyone make you feel as though you are in limbo when it comes to your position in their life.
I have mentioned before that we have to focus on ourselves and build our self love so that we can be strong enough to deal with someone else. A lot of us do this late in life and sometimes while being in a relationship. This can complicate things. Lets go over these three things.
- One, you get mixed signals or give mixed signals because you are still learning to love yourself and in turn your partner does not know how you really feel
- Two, you are growing, so this can intimidate your partner and often times cause problems because it brings out insecurities within them.
- Three, their love language is different then your love language. That is a serious thing. Being in different languages when it comes to love can confuse the both of you and create problems, and all along you both are just not speaking the same love language.* side note- learn each others love language. Please! Things can go a lot smoother. Not a guarantee for a perfect relationship, but it can definitely help.
So how can we be happy?
Happiness starts within us. Yes i know, it sounds so cliche. But that is the ultimate truth. Bottom line. That is the great secret to happiness. YOU!
If when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is seek someone elses approval to be happy, im sorry to say, you are not truly happy. Or at least you must not be genuinely happy. From the inside out. No pet, no other person, no children, no plant, not even a hobby can make us truly happy. Some people will argue this point but hear me out. I know you have tried perhaps many ways to fill the hole in your heart, but can’t quite get it right. It can temporarily seem as though these things do for a while, but deep down we know it is not true. These things can provide happiness, but after a while we start to feel like something is missing. And something is missing. Your self love.
We must be happy with ourselves. We are unique and have our own desires and our own way of thinking. In being unique and having to be always around ourselves, we must learn how to make ourselves happy. For some of us it is not hard at all. I have seen people be genuinely happy with themselves, and let me tell you they are the happiest people i have seen. You can tell from a mile away. These kind of people can get with someone and if that person decides to leave one day they know how to keep it moving. No emotional breakdowns, and definitely no feeling sorry for themselves.
Beware of the signs!
If someone wants to be with you they will make it clear. 2021 calls for realness and transparency. Lets be real people. Lets not waste time anymore! We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Time is of the essence, and to be completely honest, don’t nobody got time for the BS. There is literally so many ways to show someone you care and love them for someone not to show you anything at all in 2021. If you are in a relationship that you don’t get any love from your partner, then maybe is time to keep it moving. Don’t waste months or even years of your time with someone that can’t even give you the bare minimum. Lets do better. Lets stop ignoring the red flags because of fear of being alone. Sometimes being alone is what we need at the moment to grow and to learn more about ourselves. This is the perfect time to build on your self love as well.
Love yourself first!
If you don’t take anything else from this post, please listen to this. Love yourself first!
Love yourself enough to know when you deserve better. Love yourself enough to know that you can move on from a toxic relationship that only brings you heartache and pain. Love yourself enough to understand that you are entitled to have standards, even if you have shortened that list by now. Love yourself enough to know that maybe the person you are with just does not value you as a person nor as a partner. Love yourself enough to know when you are being manipulated, used or even abused, and somehow find the strength to walk away. Even if that may seem like the hardest thing for you to do. Love yourself first. Above everyone and anything else. I always say that your health and your self love is very important because without that you cannot love anyone else the right way. There will always be problems that arise because of the conflicting emotions. Be good to yourself. Remember, no one else can treat you the way you can treat you. That will teach others how you deserve to be treated. Believe me, eventually the memo will get received. And then my friends, you will experience true happiness.