So many people do this, some more than others of course. But where do we draw the line? Who made up the rules to help you determine when it is ok or not ok to go through with a promise?. I mean, if someone proves to be unworthy of you, are you still obligated to keep a promise made to that person?.. Think about it for a second. When human relationships are being explored and you find yourself giving your all, is it fair game to say that the other person deserves to be cut off?

Selfishness

Lets be honest, this word is used heavily in our society when some people look at the way that others do things. For example, if you take too much care of yourself you can automatically be categorized as an individual that is “self centered” and only cares about him or her self. Often times the people that think this way are the very people that may have tried to get something from you and have been either ignored or let down. Other times when you give your all and loose sight of your own self care, some people may view this as you being too giving and you basically become a target of use for others. This is so sad, but it is a reality.

Balance? Is there any?

Do we have this luxury to see things in a more balanced way? sure we do. But the real problem lies in the efforts placed on establishing this said balance in our lives. If you are too much into yourself that you don’t help anyone or give to anyone, this can create some sort of a green monster. Given the fact that you can actually help. I am in no way referring to anyone that is not able to help anyone else due to livelihood or circumstances. And if you give too much even when you don’t have, this can ultimately send you on a spiral that can negatively impact you in many ways, especially your health. Trust me, i have been there unfortunately. Gave so much of myself that one day i woke up and i was in the hospital, doctors just simply said that i was overworking myself and mentally straining myself to the point that my body was taking over and forcing me to rest. That was hard to hear.

How can we continue to ignore this?

It is tough to ignore how we feel when we expect someone to fulfill a promise that they have made, yet some of us brush it off while others take it to heart and just feel hurt constantly. We are responsible of how we feel guys! We are the ultimate masters of our own mental health and how we allow things to affect us. I honestly woke up this morning thinking about this and about how for many years i allowed myself to get sad or even cried over being disappointed, all because someone did not follow through on a promise. At the end of the day, people are going to be who they are and they are going to treat you the way that they see fit weather you like it or not. It is ultimately up to us to continue to allow people to hurt us or not. To allow people to use us or not. To allow people to continue to disappoint us or not. Well we honestly don’t have any control of how we get “disappointed” or “hurt”, but we are in control of how we feel after that disappointment, and we can reevaluate our own dependency on these promises and even people. This reminds me of my post on “who do we depend on?”

Breaking this chain

One day we will wake up and look back and simply say WOW. How could i have allowed all of that to happen?. Some of us, even without realizing it, tend to give the benefit of the doubt too freely to some people. This goes hand in hand with making excuses for people that we love, all in the hopes of one day seeing a change in their behavior towards us. But the truth is, we can not allow our lives and how we feel to be influenced in this manner. We have to fight to strive to control our emotions in such a way that we don’t hurt easy. I know it may sound impossible, but i consider this one of the best ways to find true happiness. When that day comes you will know, and you will thank yourself for making that decision. Balance, yes that would be great in a perfect world, but we live far from such a place. So in the meantime, focus on your well being above all else. Trust me, you will feel a lot better, and your body will thank you.