Everyone hopes to have at least one person they can depend on. For some, they are fortunate enough to have multiple people that they can say they can depend on no questions asked. For others, it is unfortunate, but there may not even be one person. Yup. Not even one.

Where does it start?

As children we are not equiped to understand the concept all too well, but we know that we have to depend on our parents and immediate family for our basic needs and support. For some, one or even both parents may not provide us with that sense of security. To depend on a parent first they must be present, and second they must be actively involved in your life. It is unfortunate, but many children don’t have this luxury. So where do they learn this concept of dependability?

For other children, they may have parents involved and present, and this creates a more stable identity within themselves to develope positive dependability habits. This is not to say that for some children this may still not be the case, but it sure does help. It basically ends up becoming a choice as time goes on. The child grows up and depending on how they experienced dependability in their lives they determine how as young adults and adults they will continue with this concept.

What happens when your concept of dependability is distorted?

Just as you may suspect, there is no habit developed of dependability, and now you just find yourself depending on yourself. It clearly becomes harder to envision yourself depending on anyone else, and it is definitely hard for you to even seek help from others. This is sad, not only because everyone deserves to have someone they can depend on, but also because in some ways you shut out the idea that eventually anyone could even be a good candidate to depend on. You don’t believe in depending on anyone, and that ties in to your expectations from others and your trust. I mean i can go on and on about how this very concept can distort many ideals in your life.

Pandemic dependability crisis

With these times we are living in it is certainly an eye opener for many. For some, People whom they depended on suddenly became unaccessible. Undependable. For the most part, those who are used to not having anyone to depend on seemed to be carrying on kind of ok, while others have a network of folks that they have on speed dile for any emergency. It varies from person to person and family to family.

What about those that don’t have friends?

Who can they call?

• Who are our real friends? What determines what a “real” friend is?
• If family does not speak, can they still be considered as a dependable source? Or is their dependability only visible when it is self beneficial?
• Who can we really depend on?

It saddens me to think that perhaps the world as a whole may teach us this lesson time and time again. There are however those that depend too much on others. Not to disrespect anyone or step on toes, but there are some people that have this concept of depending on others down to a science. How much can those people say they have friends and family that they can “depend on”?. Is it a matter of relationship building? Is it related to your personality and weather or not you are “likable” enough to inspire others to look out for you more? Are you secretly being ridiculed for always being the one to reach out to them when you need help, or is it a concept that has been distorted by society and their opinion on how much is too much when it comes to asking for help? Why is it a bad or a good thing? So many questions and so little answers.

I would love to hear what you guys think about this concept. Stay tune for part 2.